Have you ever wondering this will happen to you one day? When you wake up there will be no family members around you, and a 'house' is not a 'home' anymore? Well, this few days I was thinking too much about this just because majority of my darlings at home will be moving to US soon. All this started with a phone call from my mom...and these are the details of the call.
Mummy: I'm kinda worried about you being alone at Kuching when I'm going to US with
Me : Well...There's nothing to be worried about...Erm...I think I'll go to find N.C (my bestie
at Kuching) and I'm not a kid anymore.
Anyway, one of today's lectures that evolved around this topic 'home' made me felt heavy when the lecturer talked about 'I'm one that without a hometown'. This really made me thought that I was in the same shoe as her until I couldn't control myself and rushed towards the Ladies.
Well, at that moment I hated myself so much for being so weak and for breaking the promise that I had told my mom. It had been such a long time that I perceived myself as a 'weak' person. Before this, being away from home is just like a routine for me since I was staying at my babysitter's house since I was 5 years old till form3 before moving back home after my parents got transferred back to Kuching. I had to depend on myself most of the time since I was the eldest among 13 other kids at the house. I hated it especially on weekends since I would be the one that was responsible for washing all the 14 pairs of white shoes including mine! but I didn't blame her coz if without her I think most probably I would not be so 'efficient' in doing most of my household chores now.
However, I am being put into a different situation now and it is permenant and different from last time. I would not be able to chat face to face, to eat nice food, to gossip and having my maggie supper with my papa and sisters anymore when I am going back home though there is an invention called 'aeroplane' but I'm not that rich. Everything will be quiet...There will be no shouting from me telling them to stop creating racket in the house anymore...there will be no people laughing at my lousy and rusty piano skills at home.
I guess time will be the only thing that can help me to be strong in handling this situation and I will take it as the blessing in disguise, a task that is given by the Mighty One. I also hope that my darlings will be leaving for good and hopefully everything will be alright for them =)
PS: Thanks all my bestie for your concerns & all the great time today! Being together with you all really means a lot to me!
Haha...congratz to me too! This is the second post after such a long time, hopefully i will continue blogging next time.